Natural Progression
by ipodder
Summary: None of it matters, because they just keep drawing each other back in, in a way that couples do when they break up without really knowing why. Brooke/Julian one shot, post 7x14.


**AN: Hey guys, I know I've disappeared for a while, I kind of lost inspiration with the way things have been going. But for some reason, the last scene in the previous episode really got to me, and I remember why I love this couple again- I'm assuming it's like that for a lot of B/J fans, something always draws us back into them and reminds us why we're fans of them in the first place. I think my writing is a bit rusty, but I just wanted to post something. So hope you all like it, and let me know what you think :)**

He didn't stand a chance, and he'd openly admit this to anyone. She walks in, laughing and playfully teasing him like only she can, it was a _movie moment_ really, them gliding along the clothing rails. Her eyes twinkle, her hair is perfect and although he is listening to what she's saying, as he always does, he can't really bring himself to look away. The way she teases him with her gestures and her words, being so typically her for not coming up with a rhyme for his name. Although he probably can't pinpoint the exact moment, he's pretty sure that it was between her classic eye roll and the perfectly unrehearsed apple throw, that he realizes how much he missed this version of her.

This version of _them_. The easy banter that comes with knowing each other a little too well, is what made them become them in the first place.

As she walked away, no doubt turning every single head she passes, he makes a promise to himself that he will do anything to keep her this happy.

And besides, he's glad they went a day without talking about Alex Dupre for once.

It was a gradual process really, one they both knew was coming, one they both _wanted _to occur. Ever since she strutted into his movie set, pretending that the wounds weren't still fresh, charming and coyly flirting, like only she can, through deals and negotiations, he knew that she wasn't just agreeing to go on board with the new movie, but perhaps with them, too.

She wants to trust him, she does. She wants to smile and flirt with him like they did whilst working together on _Ravens_, but she's taken a few steps back since then and he's suddenly transported back to the more awkward teen years of feeling incredibly helpless. Somehow, with the somewhat short yet intense span of their relationship, they've managed to make progress together, whilst stumbling back and forth between shortcomings and wins in their personal lives.

Two steps forwards, some may say. But also extremely three big steps back.

Alex isn't really the issue, Julian muses. She was merely fractioning the impending cracks that threatened to destroy their relationship. He's always been an optimist, but it seems like Brooke is constantly on edge, waiting for him to screw up, so she can run as fast and far away as possible and shut herself out.

It's what he both hates and loves about her. Much of his feelings towards her remains a contradiction, much like Brooke herself.

It's the weather, she thinks. The warm North Carolina air at this time of year used to enable tanning and gossip sessions with Peyton on her father's boat, but now that she's somehow stumbled into adulthood that came too soon, the weather is perfect for wine and much needed self reflection. She knows, of course she does, that going into this movie with both Julian and Alex is like voluntarily walking into a natural disaster.

But she's Brooke Davis, and she can't really think rationally when it comes to Julian Baker.

Despite her initial annoyance of his apology that conviniently came with a favour, she wants to help him, because she wants him to be happy and succeed, because she tends to go out of her way for the people she loves.

And there's really no one else she loves as much as him. It's unhealthy really, the extent she's willing to go to, just to keep a smile on his face. And if she has to sacrifice sleep and sanity to do so, then well, there's really no point in weighing the negatives with the positives because seeing him everyday will be good enough.

He isn't stupid; he knows she's always watching, peeking from the clothing rack, sneaking a glance at the craft services table, finding possible reasons to push him further away; looking for evidence of the great Julian/Alex love story so she can call him out on it. But he knows that this is a little something that comes with being loved by Brooke Davis.

And he supposes he can live with this for a little longer, besides, he kind of likes being watched.

Alexander picks her up after work, and he doesn't fail to notice the way she winks back at him before smiling at the tall blonde. But somehow it doesn't bother him as much to watch her leave with someone else, not because he's _over _her, not even close. But because for once, they're not just doing this, playing stupid mind games to drive the other insanely jealous, or slightly insane; they're finally on the same page, and it feels good to live in the moment with her for a little while longer; before he attempts to tackle the big stuff. He struggles to define them, a post break up couple with potential perhaps.

But he doesn't seem to hesitate in the slightest when a pretty but _plain_ make up artist asks if he's taken.

Definitely, have been for a long time now, was the reply.

The girls leave him alone after that declaration, but they watch, he knows they do, and he still finds it oddly pathetic how he kind of enjoys the attention, purely because he was invisible in high school, and now he's somehow in demand. He laughs like a friend when they giggle and flutter their eyelashes, and pretends not to notice how they all flutter to their corners when graces the set, surely with confidence, but without the arrogance.

He can't take his eyes off her, she just _glows_ everywhere she walks, it's pretty ridiculous and he follows her around like a pathetic little puppy. Whatever she says, he grins and whenever she makes the smallest accomplishment with the costumes, he beams as if she's just won an oscar. To him, it kind of feels like they haven't stopped being them, like they've never ended, and have regressed back to the hesitant courting, comfortable first dates; it's like suddenly, the butterflies came back and reminded him of how it never really went away.

Julian knows he's been a bit of an ass, but she hasn't been the best version of herself either. But he's kind of sick and tired of talking about it, so instead he just conviniently dusts their issues under the rug and concentrate on them as _now. _He didn't take her for granted, not for a minute during the whole Alex thing, but he suddenly realizes that he became a bit too comfortable, because he figured that she'll never go away and that she'll only have eyes for him.

Not because he's shamelessly arrogant, but because that's the way he feels about _her_, so he figured that it would be the same for her too. Obviously not; Brooke can find anyone she wants, and it scares him that it may not be him next time.

'Lost in thought?' He looks up to find her, holding a bottle of water and smirking slightly. He looks at her, properly looks at her for once because she hasn't been this physically close in a long while. Suddenly, he wonders why they broke up in the first place, because he cannot imagine living without this woman for another day.

'Yeah, I'm just tired really,' he accepts the water and notices how she stares at him when he drinks. As if she can read his thoughts, she comments that she's glad he's found something he's so passionate about.

'I have a really good feeing about this movie, I hope it works out for you, you deserve it.'

Before he could reply the sentiment, she's already on her blackberry and walking towards the exit.

'Hey Brooke! I don't suppose you want to grab some food, like now, with me?'

He could have sworn that she smiled a little but then did a little shrug, 'I'm sorry, I can't tonight.'

Despite lingering thoughts of her making plans with other men, he understood, they had a nice moment and he wouldn't really want to ruin it with the prospect of talking about things, about _them._

Although she owes him nothing, not really anymore, she didn't want him to think that she's avoiding spending time with him, so she tells the truth, like she always does when he's around.

'I'm going to New York, for a month. My flight leaves in two hours.'

He freezes, a lump embarrassingly forming in his throat, 'But what about-'

She shrugs again, once more being a step ahead of him, 'My job is finished here, now I have to go chase _my _dream.'

She's wrong, he isn't done chasing his dream, not yet.

'But you'll be gone for a month, a whole month!' He isn't sure to why he's on the edge of hysterical, but he's too upset to be embarrassed now.

'You already left once! And you came back with Alexander! Who's it going to be this time? What if you don't come back at all, huh Brooke?'

And that was a stupid thing to say, he knew that. He knew it was dumb even before it was said out loud; but he just wanted to hurt her, even if she feels a little sting, because the thought of her being away from him (again) actually might cripple him for real this time. The last time she left, they were still kind of up in the air, but this time, _anyone_ can claim her.

She may not be his, but he's all hers.

Brooke's eyes glaze over at him, 'I'm going to walk away and pretend you didn't say that to me.'

And there it was again, it seems like they can't go more than a few days without fighting.

There was no point of going after her, he thinks, she won't stay anyway. He wouldn't let her, she helped him chase his dreams, and now he was making it easier for her to do the same; there's nothing to hold her back anymore.

It may have been two weeks, maybe a bit more, since Brooke went to New York. He's been keeping busy, working on the movie, ignoring the flock of girls that surround the set. Alex is keeping her distance, occasionally complaining why Brooke's 'hot new boytoy' Alexander isn't really around anymore. He hasn't really been thinking about it really, but then it dawns on him, as it should have done before she left even, that Alexander is probably in New York with her.

Lucas and Peyton sends him an angry email-from both of them. He doesn't need to ask how they even found out, because if Brooke didn't mention it, Haley's probably a safe bet. He loves how tight knit they are, and sometimes wonders why he hasn't managed to win them over completely; maybe because he's been screwing up a bit lately.

He was already on the plane to New York when he realizes how he's just abandoned an unfinished movie, _his _comeback movie. But he can't really bring himself to care, because his girl is halfway across the country and he might have driven her away.

With his connections, it wasn't hard to track her down. But he almost forgot, with just one glance at her form behind the glass door of the C/B office, what he came to say.

Truth is, he didn't know. He just _had _to see her, to see if she's okay. Because although they have been seeing a lot of each other post their break up, it was mainly in the form of casual passing, friendly flirtatiousness, or friendly digs at the past like that day in Lucas's bedroom. Their conversations weren't insightful, long in length, and apart from that night before she left to the airport, they haven't really gotten to _why _they broke up in the first place.

He walks into her office, and admires her form from the door. Her hair was messy, she was wearing a plain white shirt with dark skinny jeans and he thought she looked absolutely _stunning._

'Hey'

She turns around, as if somehow she was expecting him to appear suddenly, as if she was expecting him to come all this way to see her.

'Julian, you're here'

And he grins, she has never been the one with words, but her _everything else_ more than makes up for it.

'In my office.'

He grins again, actually, he doesn't think he's stopped grinning since he stepped foot within her office.

'I just wanted to check up on you, see how you're doing.'

She shrugs, 'You could have waited five more days, till I'm back in Tree Hill.'

'So I shouldn't have come.'

'No, I just meant, I would have come back eventually, you know that.'

He frowns, 'I didn't, I wasn't sure if New York was going to steal you away from me, again.'

Brooke moves from her position behind her desk and stands in front of him, her eyes never moving from his.

'Even when I was in New York,it didn't hold a candle to you, where ever you were.'

The kiss was inevitable, in fact, he may even admit that he just wanted to fly all this way, hoping the somewhat romantic gesture will win him a kiss from the stunning brunette in question. It's almost like they didn't have to talk about their issues, or what he said the night she left. None of it matters, because they just keep drawing each other back in, in a way that couples do when they break up without really knowing why.

It's a natural progression really.

So as she kisses him, pushing him against the wall and slipping her tongue into his mouth, unzipping his jeans and shredding her shirt all at once, she allows the recent months to wash away, because as he kisses her, _really _kisses her, she can't begin to remember why she even asked for space, because since they broke up, they somehow found excuses to be with each other all the time.

He's not sure if he wants it to happen _this way_, in the middle of her office, where her employees can probably hear (and see) everything, but as she runs her hands across his member, he holds his breath and kisses her again.

'Condom'

She breathlessly pulls away from him, hair messier than before, lip gloss smudged, and its so cliché to think this, but time and time again, he wonders what he did right to get a girl like her.

'We don't need it, nothing will happen anyway.'

She pulls his face closer and attacks his lips, harsher this time, as if she's desperate for _something_. And it wasn't long before he feels her tremble before he got the chance to even be inside of her.

'I'm sorry, I can't do this, I can't do _us_ again'.

And it was upon seeing her tear stained face, that he knew what she was upset about; the issue that started to break them apart in the first place. It broke him to see how it hasn't gone away, he should have known better, he should have known _her _better.

He did, he still does, he just chooses to forget sometimes, and it's really not good enough.

Sometimes he doubts himself, maybe that's why he pulled away, because he does wonder, if _anyone_ will be good enough for her. She isn't demanding, but she's so complex in a way that most men wouldn't understand, men like Lucas Scott did, but it became too complicated, men like him gave their all and gave up too soon.

As he zips up his pants, feeling _wrong_ about this in a way guys shouldn't, he turns to her and presses a kiss on her temple. She's still crying slightly, but guys like him chooses to look past that, because every time she cries, he does too, just not _with _her.

' I meant what I said before, none of it matters. I don't care about having a kid who is genetically mine. Remember how good _we_ were with Sam?'

He _knows_ that she wants a little girl who looks like her, _he _does as well. But if they can't, then they can't, and he doesn't want to see her punish herself for what she can't control.

'I nearly kissed Alexander.'

And suddenly it felt like they were back to square one, again.

'We were both really drunk, and I think if I wanted to, he would have slept with me. But all I could think about was you, everywhere I looked, you were just there. And I tried to tell myself that it didn't mean anything, but when it comes to you, the smallest things matter. And I know my insecurities frustrate you, and I wonder if me not being able to get pregnant means I shouldn't be a mom, and sometimes I doubt us, doubt _you_. But what it comes down to-'

She knows all her employees are probably trying to listen through the glass walls at this point, but she didn't care. Because she never really tried to fight for him _this way._

_'_What it comes down to is,' she tries again, ' is that I love you. And it doesn't freak me out to say it, I want us, despite what I said a minute ago. I _choose _us. And I just want you back so bad it's pathetic, because I don't _beg_. But you're _perfect, _and I want to get it right this time. If you'll let me'.

He kisses her, again. And silently chuckles at how perhaps, his ways with words have rubbed off on her.

'I choose you too, B. Davis'

Their issues haven't really been resolved, and they both know there's a lot to talk about, plans to be made, _future stuff. _But when they return to Tree Hill, together this time, it feels _right_, a little messy, but _right. _So he doesn't flinch when Alexander's eyes linger on her a second too long, and she tries not to vocalize her disdain for Alex.

She visits the set around midnight, when most people have left, and it's just a few crew members finishing up. His brows are furrowed, his eyes focused on the final pages of the script, his hand picking up loose pieces of whatever's in the chinese takeaway. He could hear the clicking of her Jimmy Choos and turns to her, grinning like he does.

'Hi'

And the way she breathes her words make it seem new _again_, like when they first met, like when she walked into this very movie set, agreeing to work with him. There's something so fresh about them, although it's familiar most of the time. They're going through the motions again. He imagines if this was a movie, what song would be playing, what the script will enable them to say next; but then she'll roll her eyes and tease him about being a big dork.

When the time is right, he muses, he'll propose to her with that Cartier ring he has in the safe, choose an appropriate honeymoon destination (No to Russia, it's too cold, maybe a beach, Bali perhaps, or Tokyo just so he can let her teach him how to use a chopstick properly). Maybe they'll adopt, or explore a few more options, maybe with those IVF things they'll end up with triplets, three girls with his grin and her dimples.

He wants to get it right this time, revise the things they did wrong, communicate more. It's a natural progression, and it's okay if things are still a bit messy; he wants _them _to progress naturally, as naturally as Tree Hill, New York or LA will allow. It's a natural progression this time.

This time, it's for real.


End file.
